Bicycle Canticles

Hey, woman in sedan with MA plate 788 BR8:

• I can’t be in the bike lane if there’s a car in the bike lane. I and that car are both solid, we cannot occupy the same physical space.
• I signaled and left you plenty of room prior to merging into traffic. I was signaling to return to the bike lane when you got all honk-happy at me.
• I’ll stop yelling at you if you stop yelling at me with your horn.
• If you want to be aggressive with your car, don’t be a pussy: roll down your window all the way when I confront you.
• Hang up and drive.
• Put the pen and notebook down and drive. You don’t have enough hands left for your steering wheel, since you’re also on the phone.